Um.

WordPress has this handy tool that tells you the Google search terms that led people to your blog.  Today, to my dismay, I discovered a rather unflattering search term:

“hot tub fart.”

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Annoying:

Here is one thing that annoys me:

– Jeans without back pockets.

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yum:

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Recipe Arsenal: Apricot Oatcakes

A couple of years ago, Will introduced me to these fabulous oatcakes he got from CoffeePeople on a trip to Portland.  Unfortunately, Starbucks bought out nearly all of the CoffeePeoples and the only ones left are in the Portland airport.  While in Portland this weekend, Will and I made a special trip to the airport – about 2 hours out of our way – just to buy a 6-pack of these.

Since the first day I tried them, I’ve been scouring the Internet looking for a way to replicate the infamous apricot oatcake.  These oatcakes are dense and heavy.  They have lots of oatmeal, dried fruit and a bit of honey.  They’re perfect for breakfast, and best enjoyed with a good cup of tea.

Low Fat Apricot Oatcakes

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups rolled oats
  • 2 cups flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/3 cup plain, fat-free yogurt
  • 1/2 cup crystalline fructose (or granulated sugar)
  • 1/2 cup honey
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla
  • 3/4 cup dried apricots

Directions:

  1. Coarsely grind rolled oats in a blender. Mix with the flour and baking powder.
  2. Chop dried fruit into small pieces.
  3. In a separate bowl, “cream” together yogurt, fructose, honey, and vanilla.
  4. In yet another bowl, lightly beat egg white until it gets bubbly but not stiff. Fold egg white into the wet ingredients. Add dried fruit.
  5. Combine wet and dry ingredients. The dough gets pretty stiff and is hard to mix. You may even have to knead it with your hands.  Form into 9 hockey-puck-shaped patties.
  6. Bake at 325 degrees F for about 20 minutes on non-stick cookie sheet. Cool completely and store in refrigerator. These keep well and may be frozen.

As with the biscuits, you can change things up for yummy variations.  For a pumpkin pie oatcake: omit the fruit, used canned pumpkin instead of the yogurt, and add 1/2 teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice.

One of my favorite variations – the chocolate oatcake: omit the dried fruit, reduce flour to 1 1/2 cups, add 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, and sprinkle some pumpkin seeds on top.

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A MySpace Credit Card. REALLY?

Now you can be thirteen-years-old, listen to Insane Clown Posse, wear thongs AND simultaneously ruin your credit.

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Recipe Arsenal: Biscuits

It is not by accident that the first recipe I share with you is bread.  I will try to be balanced with the recipes I share, but I must admit that I have an extra strong affinity for two things: bread and dessert.

This is my favorite biscuit recipe.  It’s fast, cheap, and basically foolproof and you probably have all the ingredients in your kitchen.  The recipe produces huge, fluffy, flaky clouds of delight that melt in your mouth.  Don’t be afriad to change things up, either.  This recipe is so versitile, you can add yummies to the dough (cheese, bacon, herbs, dried fruit, pesto) or sprinkle it on top.

J.P.’s Big Daddy Biscuits

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups all-purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon white sugar
  • 1/3 cup shortening
  • 1 cup milk

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
  2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar. Cut in the shortening until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Gradually stir in milk until dough pulls away from the side of the bowl.
  3. Turn out onto a floured surface, and knead 15 to 20 times. Pat or roll dough out to 1 inch thick. Cut biscuits with a large cutter or juice glass dipped in flour. Repeat until all dough is used. Brush off the excess flour, and place biscuits onto an ungreased baking sheet.
  4. Bake for 13 to 15 minutes in the preheated oven, or until edges begin to brown
(Recipe found at Allrecipes.com)

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Recipes

I love to eat.

I love to make good things to eat.

I love to make people happy with the food I make.

I want to make different kinds of food than the types I usually make.

I want you to make good food, too.

I’d like to share my favorite recipes with you.

This will inspire me to try new recipes/dishes/ingredients.

It’s a win-win.

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