I’ve been learning how apathetic I am these days.
[by the way, this is my first post, so I’m a bit self-conscious about what to say, how formal/informal I should be. But anyway…]
Apathy has this tendency to erode any sort of motivation to change for the better. I am so envious of people who see their unfavorable habits and characteristics and immediately go to work on changing them. Because I’m not like that at all. I get annoyed with myself, and try to psychoanalyze, and that usually squelches any dedication to change.
And usually I think this: “Well if right living doesn’t come naturally, I don’t want to fake it. Because God totally knows if my motives are right or not.” But that’s pretty ridiculous because I’m NEVER going to be stoked about pouring myself out for people or addressing my hypocrisy.
I just have to do it anyway because I know it’s necessary and beneficial.